If you (or your teenager) received my letter as a graduation gift, then you are in the right place. Also, if you were at the Ladies day at Lake Houston and me heard me talk about this or missed my talk, here it is.
*If you want to share this with other people, feel free to do so. So basically, I stopped believing in God for a while a few years back, and now that I believe again, I just wanted to encourage any younger believers that might be going through a tough time - or to prepare them for the tough times that they are sure to encounter as they go through life.
Dear graduating seniors,
I was thinking to myself a lot about when I graduated from high school, and how my life has changed since then. I would like to share something with you that I didn't know back then. I was looking forward to all the possibilities that lay ahead of me: living on my own, making new friends, figuring out a major, dating and possibly getting married, etc. I had no idea that one of those possibilities would be that I would stop believing that God existed (for a while).
I basically built my life and existing beliefs (sky is blue, concepts of physics, gravity, truth, cause & effect, etc) on 2 "basic" beliefs that I thought were truth:
That God existed
That all disciples of Jesus, i.e. "Christians" were basically perfect people. In a way I knew they weren't "perfect", but they didn't do bad things like murder people or cheat on their spouses.
(When I did my ladies day speech, I wrote those 2 things, CHRISTIANS ARE PERFECT (on one side of a piece of paper) and GOD EXISTS on the other side of the paper.)
The first challenge I faced was when I met a guy my freshman year who was not a Believer. He wasn't interested in believing or repenting, even though he acknowledged that he should.. he just didn't want to. Lots of people I knew that were married said that when they met, one of them wasn't a believer, but the non-believer changed their mind. Sounded pretty simple and easy.
So, I said to God, "God you're just going to have to wave your magic wand and make him repent, change his heart and his mind". I mean, the Bible does say ask something in Jesus' name and he will do it for you, right? So I prayed and prayed and got other people to pray for him, I did that every day.. for probably close to a year. Well, it didn't work. So I got mad at God and felt bitter and stopped praying, because I didn't see the point if he wasn't going to do what I asked him to do.
The next challenge I faced was a few years later when I met with a church that employed a well-respected man that I personally knew and had been counseled by.
After a while it came out that he and one of my friends, the wife of another man in the congregation, were having an affair, and that they were divorcing their spouses to pursue their adulterous relationship. I was totally shocked.
I couldn't believe that this man who claimed to be a follower of Christ, who was so knowledgeable, who trained preachers and counseled families that had been broken apart by divorce and adultery - was involved in those very things!
Another thing that happened around this time, was that I was just kinda looking around at my friends - my "church" friends and noticing that they did and said a lot of things that were un-Christ-like, and I looked back over my life, reflecting on the people I had known for a long time and had grown up around who said they were followers of Christ - and that sometimes those people had said things or done things that weren't exactly wrong, and weren't exactly intentional to hurt me, but I felt I had been let down.
All those people I thought were perfect, were not. I felt angry and betrayed.
So I said to myself, IF this is how in fact, that disciples of Jesus act, then I just don't see how I can be one. The things I really believed were true - about Christians being perfect and not doing really bad things- it seemed were not true. If those things weren't true, then the other basic belief that I had, that God existed - wasn't true either. How could God exist if the people who claimed to believe in him and follow him could do such bad things?
(When I did my speech, I ripped up the paper that had CHRISTIANS ARE PERFECT on one side and GOD EXISTS on the other side. This was the only way that I knew how to deal with the new reality)
I felt like the world got turned upside down - I didn't know if reality was real or just a dreamlike state. I didn't know if "red" was really "red", or if it was really "blue" and I was just told it was "red". I had to figure out if my whole life had been spent believing lies built on top of a base of lies, or if there was truth in there anywhere. So I started totally over, not believing in anything.
The conclusion to my story is thankfully a good one:
-It took probably a year and a half after starting over before I started believing that God existed. I first had to find out for myself that the laws of nature (gravity, energy, cause & effect, etc.) all existed and that they were true. That I existed. That red was really red and blue was really blue.
I looked at the Christian people in my life who hadn't been perfect or always said the right thing or done the right thing in a more realistic light. I realized that I *thought* that once someone repents and is baptized, that they magically become a different person: an emotionally, psychologically and spiritually healthy person.
Yes, they are different in God's eyes, they are made sinless, but it doesn't change what has happened to them - it does not take away their past experiences, change their basic personality or remove effects of physical, emotional or psychological abuse or neglect.
I also learned not to put other Christians or anyone in general on a pedestal, to think that they are perfect or sinless or immune to temptation, no matter how long they've been a disciple or how great I think they are or how old they are. Everyone messes up, sometimes it's intentional and sometimes we don't even realize we did something wrong until after that fact, or sometimes we just have a bad day and say things we don't mean.
We have to confess our wrongs to each other and forgive each other, and to remind ourselves and each other that we need forgiveness and need to forgive.
I also realized that it was wrong of me to ask God to change my friend's mind. If God makes us believe in him, if it's not of our own choosing, then it won't be fair on judgment day, as in it would be God's fault - not ours- for our belief or unbelief. My friend will be responsible for his choices on that day. We didn’t share the same values, so we weren’t a good match anyways.
(Please allow me to make a detour here and talk about dating for a moment)
that year and a half where I didn't believe in God felt like freedom at first, I felt like I was free to do what **I** wanted...but after a while it got pretty confusing and I was kinda starting to make some unwise choices. I was dating someone who I knew previously from a Christian university and I thought he was a Christian... but he was in every way walking in darkness...and he tried many times to tempt me to walk in darkness with him and make sinful choices..
**Please understand that saving sexual intimacy for marriage is one of the smartest and best things you can do for yourself - to honor God and honor marriage with your body.
Please do not let anyone - Christian or non-Christian alike! try to convince you or persuade you that there are "things that don't REALLY count" as sexual intimacy before marriage - because the Scriptures warn us not only of sexual immorality, but also of impurity and sensuality, the idea of indulging the flesh because our bodies belong to us and we can do whatever we want. But that’s not true, we are not “our own”, we were bought with a price, so we should honor God with our bodies”. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)
I was baptized when I was 14, and although I don't regret it, I wish I had been prepared or pre-warned about all the temptations that would come from dating when I got older. I *very wrongly* assumed that because the people I was around knew I was a Christian - and sometimes because they were a Christian too and/or because I met them at church, a church camp or a Christian college - that they would respect me and behave in a respectful way towards me, that somehow they naturally understood my beliefs without me explaining them.
Please be aware that there are still many people like those in Ephesians 4:19 - eager to practice every kind of impurity.
Make it a priority to talk about what you believe. Talk about honoring God. Talk about walking in the light. Talk about not being alone together so you can avoid temptation together. Even if you are attracted to each other, get to know each other “just as friends” for a long time.
I know it sounds dumb or cheesy or whatever word you want to call it – but I learned the hard way that if you’re not on the same page as far your intentions and goals and lifestyle with the other person, how can it end well?
Get to know people as friends before any kind of romantic relationship so you can know these things - and it. takes. time. to learn these things, as well as how someone responds to things and what their patterns of behavior are.
I just want to give you a heads up to be prepared for sexual temptation – think ahead of time how you are going to behave. Parameters and boundaries are a good thing, so set some! I so wish I would have known about "courting" when I was younger. It's different from dating because you are never alone with the person because you always plan ahead to have a chaperon or 3rd person with you.
You can give hugs from the side, but that's about it as far as physical contact. The emphasis is on getting to know the person without the pressures and expectations and temptations of dating as the world defines it. I know I would have saved myself a lot of heartache if I had done things that way.
The church in Jerusalem sent a letter to the Gentile Believers a letter of basic ideas to follow in Acts 15:
”It seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us not to burden you with anything beyond these essential requirements: You must abstain from food sacrificed to idols, from blood, from the meat of strangled animals, and from sexual immorality. You will do well to avoid these things.”
The first 3 aren’t a problem really in our time, but the last one is. Perhaps your parents have tried talking to you about this, and if they have it’s because they care about you and they know that what can really mess up your life is sexual immorality.” So that’s all for my rant on dating. ☺
So let me share with you Lesson 1 I learned during that time of what i thought was freedom:
Freedom from God’s instructions is not freedom.
Let me explain it this way. You may have a pet, a dog or a cat. You love your pet, you take care of it, give it food, water, shelter, a comfy bed, toys, treats, everything. And you open the door and what does your dog do? Psshooo! Theyre gone! And the dog is like WHEEEE I”M FREE!!!!
And what are you thinking? I know my dog is dumb…but really? How can my dog be so dumb!
Are they free? Technically, yeah. Free to get to hit by a car, free to get eaten by who knows what.
I have lived in Houston for 7 years now and twice in the last 2 or 3 years, we have had "literal" tigers loose in people’s neighborhoods.
But the devil? The BIble tells us that He’s is a lion, seeking people to devour. Would you want your dog on the loose when there’s a tiger somewhere? NO! You want your dog inside.
Now, This is where you have to make a distinction between inside and outside. Being inside God’s teachings and instructions are not a cage to keep you from having fun or missing out, they are a strong house, with lights and warmth and protection and safety and freedom..
You don’t want your dog to be out in the dark when there’s a tiger on the loose, and you don’t want to be out there, in the dark, away from God, when there’s an actual lion on the loose. A lion that’s not looking for pets, he’s looking for people to trick and trap and devour!
Please please really think how you define freedom. Freedom from God’s rules is not freedom, its the TRUTH- and the truth will make you free.
Another thing I learned, lesson 2: Talk about it
I really wish that I would have reached out to someone when I was struggling with that decision and talked about what I was going through. Instead of handling it all on my own.
So if (advising all of you), if you are ever struggling with something, no matter how big or small, please reach out to someone anyone your Christian family.
If that person doesn’t help you find another person. That’s why God made us a family, to be there for each other and help each other. You may think you’re alone in whatever your struggle you're in, but you’re not.
-So, I remember the day I believed that God existed again. Well, first I ended the dumb relationship I was in because I realized the wisdom in honoring God with my body - how it wasn't just about me, but about the other person too and God.
I repented and it opened my mind - I was so sad, I realized that God couldn’t be happy with how I had been behaving.
Thankfully I hadn’t strayed as far as I could have - because I still remembered what the Scriptures say about right and wrong, and it stuck with me.
Not too many days later I remember that I was standing beside a tree, and I picked up a fallen leaf that had 5 lobes. I looked at it closely, and I could see the tiny veins that all ran into larger veins, all the same size and width and spaced exactly the same width apart... the tiny cells... the pores to bring in carbon dioxide and release oxygen
(It's not like I had never seen a leaf before, because everyone has. It's not like I hadn't taken biology and learned about all that - because I had done that too).
I saw that there was function and purpose in this leaf. Then I looked down at what was holding this leaf, a 5 fingered hand, with veins that flowed into larger veins, with tiny cells and pores as well - and a function and a purpose.
I realized that what I believed from the beginning was true: that God designed and created the leaf just like he designed and created me. He exists and he loves me, and he gave humans his Words so we could know Him who created us, and what his will and purpose is for us.
Everything we buy has instructions from the manufacturer. Every shirt has a tag in it that tells you who made it, what’s it made of and how to take care of it.
(For the ladies day, I held up one of my bags of instruction manuals that I've saved, and held up the big instruction manual that came with my car. )
You and I have an instruction manual from our manufacturer, the one who made us.. Thr Bible. The words of God, our creator. It tell us who made us, what we are made of, and what we were made for.
You want to know how to have the best life now AND eternal life? , it’s in Him and his words. Its not an easy life to follow after Jesus, to walk the straight and narrow path, but it’s worth it. Its only in HIm and his words that we will find TRUE Freedom and truth and joy.
Believing in God and choosing to live by His words is the best and smartest decision I have ever made - and probably will make - in my entire lifetime.
I wish you all much happiness and success in your lives as you become more independent and start living your lives as adults, free to make more of your own choices and decide what is right for you.
Being a child myself and having parents, I know it’s natural to want to rebel or go against the things your parents believe and find your own path – but please know that if your parents serve God and study His Word – they are making the smartest choices a human being can make! and I pray that you too will decide to make those good choices in your life, to believe them for yourself and live your life by them.
I hope that my words have encouraged you and maybe you won't make the same mistakes I did or stop believing in God. I hope you will continue to grow in the favor and knowledge of God as fruitful branches and living stones, walking in light, truth and love - because THAT is something you will NEVER, EVER regret doing.
In conclusion: I hope to leave you with 4 quick points.
Don’t be dumb like I was. Don’t stop believing in God.
We have a creator. His word is our instruction manual
Don’t put your faith in imperfect people cause it can make you lose your faith. No matter how great you think they are, Put your faith in God where it belongs.
If you’re struggling with that, or anything, please please reach out to your Christian family! that’s what we’re here for to help each other get to heaven.
p.s. please take the time to read and remember the following verses! They are very helpful in understanding what God’s will is for us.
Your sister in Christ,
Aimee Williams ALW6541@gmail.com
you can also follow my facebook and instagram accounts for 1 Partner 4 Life, which is dedicated to encouraging people of all ages to honor marriage and honor God with our bodies.
Romans 1:19 "For what may be known about God is clear to them (man) since God has shown it to them. The invisible things about Him—His eternal power and deity—have been clearly seen since the creation of the world and are understood by the things that are made, so that they are without excuse"
1 Peter 2:5 "You also, as living stones, are built up as a spiritual house, to be a set-apart priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices, acceptable to God through Jesus Christ."
John 15:8 "By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples." Colossians 1:9-10 "we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God."
1 John 1:6-7
"If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin."
1 Corinthians 6:18-20 "Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the set-apart Spirit within, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."
Hebrews 13:4 "Marriage should be honored by all, and the bed kept undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous."
Galatians 5:19-21 "Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies and things like these. I warn you as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
2nd Corinthians 12:21 "I mourn over many of those who sinned previously and have not repented of the impurity, sexual immorality and sensuality that they have practiced."
Ephesians 4:19 " They (Gentiles) have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, eager to practice every kind of impurity. But that is not the way you learned Christ - assuming you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and be renewed in the spirit of your minds and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and set-apartness."
Ephesians 5:2-5 Do not let sexual sin, impurity of any kind, or greed even be mentioned among you, as is proper for the set-apart. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.
1 Thessalonians 4:1-8 "Finally then brothers, we ask and urge you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received from us how you ought to walk and how to please God. For you know what instructions we gave you through the Lord Jesus . For this is the will of God, that you be set -apart, that you abstain from sexual immorality, that each of you know how to control his own body in set-apartness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God- that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this way, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for impurity, but to be set-apart. Whoever disregards this, disregards not man, but God, who gives his set-apart Spirit to you."
Revelation 21:8
"But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.”
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